Playground games- all grown up

Today was just a crazy day for people encounters. I have one more to add before I lose the laptop for the night! Blake and I went to the playground next to our house where we encountered some preteen girls, I overheard their laughing and cussing, and "SHHHH don't swear in front of little kids". I just smiled at them, and thanked God I am not a preteen anymore, I overheard they were texting and calling boys. Pretty soon it became obvious that they were being propositioned by an older boy, to send inappropriate pictures. These girls were in SIXTH and EIGHTH grade. They giggled and clearly enjoyed the attention via text, although one could tell they were looking at each other for cues as to how to respond. I felt Beth Moore come over me in an instant. I tried to ignore. I tried to pretend I didn't know what they were doing. But i couldn't help it. Luckily Blake marched over to them, so I said "you girls aren't sending dirty pictures to guys are you?". They quickly said "no no no, but this guy wants us to". I told them "don't do it!!" I didn't know how to convey that they were beautiful, innocent, and worth so much more. So I sputtered, But i did manage to say that they were beautiful and they clearly already had the interest of young boys, there was no need to take it further. I implored them to have more self respect. We got to talking and they talked about how they hated this town. One girl told me she has moved 12 times, from foster mom, to real mom, to navy dad. Another said that she can't even remember how many times she has moved. As they ran off to another playground (probably to escape me!) , I smiled big and said "Remember girls, make good choices!".... they promised they would. Lord, help me if I ever have a daughter to instill a sense of worth in her so great that she will never doubt her value for a moment.

My Post Office Angel.... and whoaa!

Today is the first time in awhile when I have walked in the door just bursting with excitement, and I had to blog it down :). First off- if you know me AT ALL, you know I have been struggling with Joy lately. (Not my best friend Joy :), just the concept). Today I had to go to the post office, and while there I had to get an envelope and try to address it, all while containing a squirmy toddler. I hate going there, and its NEVER been a pleasant experience. Well today Blake sat still in my arms. I heard a giggle and I turned around and a sweet older man was making faces at him and playing peek a boo. He continued to entertain Blake the entire time we were in line, and there was no struggle. As It neared my turn he said "I want to thank you for doing the toughest job in the world, being a mommy" ... I smiled and said thank you, figuring he was just being nice. Then he continued "And, I also want to thank you for being such a motherly, nurturing wife. You know.." At that , I started to really tune in. This sweet man, didn't know what I had been dealing with lately, he didn't know that I am trying to be the best mom, and wife and daughter and friend all while wanting to pull my hair out. I was so touched. On the way out I got to hold the door for him, and he said "You have a nice day now", he said each word slowly, I could hear the sincerity dripping off each word. "God, ... Bless you!". It was then that it hit me. I had just seen the face of God. Whether you believe in angels or not, .. there is no denying that God had some hand in that! Imagine, at the Oak Harbor Post Office, one of my most dreaded places!!

Next is very humbling. AS we transition into the civilian world we have imposed a very strict budget on ourselves. No more starbucks, or mcdonalds, and eating out is very rare. As we keep getting hit with unexpected expenses it has become clear that money does NOT grow on trees. When it came to tithe "joyfully" at church yesterday, Steve asked if I had any cash, I knew he had a $20 in his wallet, so I reminded him of it, and told him to put it in. I didn't want him to put it in . That 20 should have gone STRAIGHT to savings, It was almost painful to watch 20 whole dollars disappear into the burgundy velvet abyss of the offering bag. I wanted to run after them and say.... "OH whoops, your mistake, that $20 is to pay off the vet bill, or the cell phone, or to save and buy christmas presents this year!", Alas, I began to worship, and I just kept hearing in my head "The Lord will provide". I claimed it, and felt much better.

Today I went into the NEX and saw a big sign, fill out a survey for a $5.00 coupon. Thats a free $5.00 , not off a certain amount, just free stuff! Then, Blake was so wild, the lady running the survey offered to chase him around the Halloween displays while I filled it out!! Then I went to Walgreens, to browse, and buy a few things with coupons, trying to learn how to earn register rewards. Basically every week you get a certain amount of register rewards for certain purchases. This week, pampers diapers had a $2.oo reward. After two transactions, the diapers had been on sale, I had a dollar off for each one. I ended up with $4.00 register rewards. Again- thats free money, no minimum purchase. At the very least I can go get eggs, or milk. Or more likely more diapers! As I was driving home it hit me , I "made" $9.00 today, thats almost HALF of what we put in the offering. The LORD does provide, and gosh he is creative about it!!! :)

A little Perspective

It is truly amazing what a difference a day makes. Yesterday, I spent the day lamenting my problems, and wondering how such things could happen. Reading yesterday's post makes me want to slap myself silly. Today Steve and I went to a memorial service for a dear lady who befriended me when I moved to Whidbey Island. I was new here, and had no car and no friends, (I know, you know the sob story), anyhow, Mary Ellen was friends with a family friend back in NY. She met my mom on a trip home, long story short- she got word that I was new here. She promptly mailed me a letter and asked to get together. I figured I had nothing to lose, so we did. I didn't know what to say, I was a homebody who ended up with friends by default, I never really "made new friends". Mary Ellen would come and chat, tell me great stories. She worked with unwed mothers and their babies, she survived a terribly abusive marriage, and finally found the love of her life. As Steve and I sat in the back of the tiny catholic church, I got a glimpse of her husband. I had never met him, but I saw the pain in his eyes, ... and I knew. I choked up at the sight of him, and as the eulogy was delivered i had to choke back tears over and over.. until I couldn't anymore. They recounted stories of how she fought her way into the hospital room and demanded a bed for herself so she could spend the night with her husband after open heart surgery. He laughed as he told us how she went to the bathroom, came back in her nightie and curlers- and hopped into her bed. The last month of her life she was in a care facility, where he requested a bed next to hers, so he could hold her hand every night.

To have such a love, is such a gift. I am so blessed for a husband that I love dearly, and I made sure he knew it when we left that church. Seeing the mourners, the emptiness in her husband's eyes made me SO GRATEFUL for all that I have. I don't care about money, or stains, or dog intestines. My loved ones are safe, and sound, and for that I thank God.

1 Thess. 4:3

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.

The priest read this, and I wondered, what about those who have no hope? Those who don't know Christ. Were there people in that church that really believed this life is all we have? This is it? Nothing after. I am sad for them, because there is more. Christ has SO much more for us.

The Journey..

It seems like I haven't blogged in such a long time. I enjoy blogging to make people laugh, and to share fun anecdotes but lately, the fun times have been few and far between. As we prepare to transition out of the navy, I am learning just how resilient I truly am. I cannot believe the amount of stress and frustration we have been dealing with. First and foremost we have our health, and we have a loving and supportive family. For those things I am grateful. The Lord has taken care of us always, and through the most recent fiascos, he still is. People keep asking me "Whats wrong" ? So many things keep going wrong, I can't even remember them all!

1. Chance at a tennis ball, which nearly killed him, and cost more money than you want to know.

2. Both dogs got worms (TMI i know!)

3. I began having chronic wrist pain requiring the use of a splint all the time, (try changing a gross diaper in that!)

4. Roxy knocked the laptop on the floor nicking the finish.

5.I threw the laptop across the dining room making the top sit funny and it doesn't close quite right

6. My brand new expensive front loaders make my clothes stink, but i cant find mildew anywhere!

7. Blake busted red nailpolish all over my master bath, and bedroom carpet.

8. Roxy threw up and (....) all over the livingroom, staining the carpet.

9. Roxy chewed up the blinds. Three sets of expensive blinds.

10. Blake is cutting two teeth, and is very upset by it!

11. I got a flat tire that could not be repaired.

12. A dear friend from Whidbey passed away after a long and grueling battle with many health problems.

You know, now that I look at all that, it doesn't look as bad. Yes it is all bad, but through it all I am working on being faithful. I haven't even counted the times I have forced myself to sing "This is the day the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it", through my tears.

So in the spirit of faith and my journey, I will return to blogging. I have also started the study "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. It is a study about release from bondage of any sort, whether you call it bondage, baggage, or crap.... we all have it, do you want to get rid of it?

I am very excited and have been diligently working on it.

"A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit - filled life that God planned for her" - Beth Moore

Well let me tell you friends, I am sick of being afraid. Fear has always been my bondage. Not butterflies, but full on terror. No more, I am giving it to God. I AM DONE!

Getting out of the Navy is the scariest thing I have faced in awhile, because we are safe in our little bubble of paychecks and healthcare, a house, 2 cars, and an island full of wonderful friends. We are so blessed to go home to loving families, but the fear of employment, unemployment, and not being able to make ends meet would have been enough to throw me for a loop two years ago. Now, I know that the Lord will provide. As my very wise mother says "XYZ... is not my provider, God is my provider".

The United States Government is not my provider.

Navy Federal Bank is not my provider.

My debit card is not my provier...

God is. And he will.