I have recently decided that I need a highly profitable job, that is low on the work intensive scale. Last night Joy and I went to a Cabi party. If you have never heard of Cabi clothing...well.. don't look it up. Because if you do, you will realize how frumpy and possibly dumpy you truly are and therefore feel compelled to spend your husbands savings account on a new wardrobe. If you want to come to terms with your frumpy self, then by all means google "Cabi Clothing" and prepare to be transformed. When i first saw the clothes, I thought they were mediocre at best, and would NO WAY spend the money on them that they require. Then the consultant called me up to try on a little white furry bolero style jacket..I was sold. All of the sudden I looked like this classicly beautiful 1920's movie star, instead of a saggy, stretch marked, sleep deprived Mama. (haha, ok I didn't look THAT bad when I showed up.. but I needed that sentence for dramatic effect).Anyways, then came the fun... With all the doors and windows closed (Sorry Peeping Tom), we turned the living room and dining room into a huge dressing room and had a five year old style dress up marathon! We tried on, and discarded and traded, and EVERY piece of clothing looked flattering and beautiful on every woman, whether she was a size 2 (ahem JOY!) or a size 12. I know I sound like a commercial, but I would totally recommend anyone having a party, also because it is SO darn fun! We mixed and matched and I fell in love with a ruffly beethoven blouse. (Google it!), I went from Equine classic country beauty, to edgy rocker chic in less than ten minutes. Blake fell asleep on the couch, and three hours after I arrived, I left a changed woman! I came home starry eyed to my sleepy eyed husband who met my excitement with a 'mmhhmm'. He clearly didn't understand how life changing these clothes were going to be for us. If only we spent our extra money every month on a few pieces, I would have the whole collection in no time!! I shoved the catalog in his face. I took the laptop from him and brought up the website and he listed to my speel, smiling all the while and acting as if these clothes were insanely interesting, as any wonderful husband would do. As he saw me drooling over the grab and go jacket..he realized this was serious! I assured him I am going to have a party so that I can get a half priced item or two. Little does he know that about six dressing and undressing women are about to take over the house, which means he will have to find somewhere else to spend the evening!
I fell into bed with visions of grandeur as far as my wardrobe, only to be awoken ..not by my beautiful boy, but by a howling cat. This is the THIRD night in a row. If I was really gutsy I would leave a note on the door that says
Dear Lovely neighbor whom I overheard talking with your boyfriend,
I am sorry that he has cheated on you and with someone who "doesn't mean anything to him". He is clearly "paying attention to YOU, now. Baby". I am saddened to say that you recent afternoon "activites" were overheard by the whole neighborhood. I am surprised that you would be so quick to forgive him. However the promise of his "$18 an hour for unemployment checks" is pretty enticing. This brings me to my other point. Apparently your home is enticing to your cats at 4 in the morning. You fail to let them in every night and I have to listen to them squall their faces off trying to get your attention. There is no way you could be sleeping through this. Some nights they fight with each other which is alarming to wake up to, and other nights they work together to break in. They are like very loud ninjas. I witnessed them scaling your house, and climbing up the window screens in order to try and find you. They would crawl about fifteen feet up the side of your house and then fall back down. Over and over they went. I listened to each failed howl of despair. Much like my own despair at losing sleep. At least I could think about the Beethoven blouse. If you could be so kind as to let them in at night, I would be much obliged.
Sincerely,
The sleep deprived soon to be stylin mama!
