So we have a new resident on Larch Drive. His name is... well I can't tell you what his name is. It's too dirty. There is a bird that is insistent on living atop our porch light. Anyone who is anyone knows how i feel about birds. I hate birds. I ABHOR birds. They make me cringe and want to cry all at the same time. The worst punishment I could have is going on the birdwalk at the zoo. So I though that if we named the bird, it would be less alarming and intimidating. Hence, the name. Unfortunately the name is far too inappropriate to write here. If you really want to know, ask me. In person, or via text. So, one night we came home to find... the bird. His alias will be Archie. Archie was on the porch light, pooping all over, and I told steve he better get em! So my valiant husband grabbed the first thing he saw --the toilet brush (remember we are moving, everything is in chaos). He swung at Archie, and tried to scare him. No luck, this is no ordinary bird. Finally-he almost had to smack him before he flew away. We had a few more of these incidents. Thankfully Steve was always home, otherwise I would have had to be housebound. The other night, Archie came back with his girlfriend. Bringin her home to meet the folks I guess...
So I sent Steve out.. armed with the toilet brush of course. He chased them around the carport and they finally landed on a beam, refusing to leave. I held Blake close to me, and ran for my life as fast as I could into the house. All the while saying "BLAKEY I wont let that bird get you!!!!!".
The next time, Archie was mad about the toilet brush. He is very edgy, and when Steve came a-chasin, he fought back. He started divebombing him, and nearly flew into his head, before exiting scene. If anyone knows a bird cowboy. Please call me at 1-800-Archieneedstogo!
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