Long time no see...

**Attention:Blake looks dazed and confused in the above picture because he can't believe what I actually look like with a little makeup and without a rats nest for hair** (take a picture buddy, doesn't happen often these days!)
Well it has been a long time since I have blogged. But to all my adoring fans, (all 2 of you) I apologize. I have been very busy, being a stay at home mom is wild. Playdates, and excercise and cooking, and cleaning, and lounging and eating bon-bons, and painting my toes. Oh wait, scratch that I haven't done the last three things in over a year. Well i wouldn't trade it for all the world. Tonight Blake was covered in green beans, carrots and tuna fish-and let me tell you, he smelled like it. It was atrocious. He had boogers coming out his nose, drool coming off his chin and he was the cutest thing I ever saw! Now you might be thinking I haven't seen many cute things. No. I have. Puppies, bunnies the whole 9 yards.

Speaking of cute things.. this whole twilight debate is getting pretty crazy. Now I only have eyes for my husband... (yea yea 'all my single ladies' keep yo' eyes to yo'self) But the Team Edward /Team Jacob thing is getting nuts. T shirts, bumper stickers, I am sure someone out there even has a tattoo. I personally will not get involved in the immature madness-because Jacob is clearly the better option. Bella better open her eyes. Oh right, I forgot, sleeping with one eye open in case your love is going to gobble you up is so romantic.

The real reason I am writing this is vanity. You see, my husband and I were driving to Mt.Vernon a few weeks ago, when he casually mentioned that he would like to write a book. I froze , I put on a fake smile and said "hahhahah". To which he replied "yeah,... i want to write a book". No more Miss Nice Girl. Doesn't he KNOW who he is married to? The next Jane Austen+Ellen Degeneres-Lesbian+Barbara Walters. Yes. Me! That is who he is married to. (For all you math gurus yes the above equation does = me when solved for X). I heard my voice raise a few decibels "UM NOOOO I am the writer in this relationship. I am a way better writer than you anyhow" He just laughed and that led me to continue "well if your such a great writer, write me love notes". SO now I am on a mission. I will write my book before he writes his. What will it be about? I don't know... something that will appeal to the masses, yet be funny too. Here are some titles I am kicking around:

Married A Crackerjack: Super sweet and Always nutty!

Picking Someone Else's Boogers 101

How to Let Your Personal Appearance go to Rot in 9 easy months

Lessons in Dada:How the become the bilingual mother you have always wanted to be

The Dumbing Down of America; A Scathing look at Drugs, Alcohol and Mommyhood

I can produce food.. what can you do?

My husband is a Sailor and yours is a big fat loser frat boy.

Ok... Now that I look at this, I am thinking maybe I should go into the bumper sticker business.

I would also like to write greeting cards. But again, I want to reach the masses. How about:

I'm Sorry (for not taking out the garbage for the bazillionth time)

With Deepest Sympathy (that the stretch marks on your stomach look like a road map)

Happy Birthday (even though you forgot mine, you jerk)

Congratulations (on your 4th child of the same gender, I would LOVE to come to the shower and buy you yet ANOTHER gift)

Well... Its 9:39 and this wild party mama is ready for bed. Steve was telling me that the new nightclub in town is having new water themed nights. Hot tub this weekend, and wet tee shirt contest next weekend. I told him that I should automatically win the wet t shirt contest because who else can make their own t shirt wet from the inside out?? Yep.. This GIRL! Now how many of those chicks down at element or lava do you think can do that?

I guess I'm kind of a superstar!

(to Blake anyhow ) :)

Signing off-thats all folks!