Open Mouth, Insert.... Body?

Oh dear. That about sums up this week so far. Thankfully my mom arrives Thursday and she can rescue me from myself. Let me start out by saying the cable guy finally came. Now comcast said that he would arrive between 8-12. So in laypersons terms that means that the lazy bum service man will show up at the latest possible time, just so he can ruin your morning-right? Wrong. I was sitting on the couch in a bleary eyed sleep hangover, Blake was crawling around eating Kix and throwing them all over the living room. Keep reading, let me really draw a clear picture for you. I had makeup smeared around a little bit, from the night before. I was wearing a hot pink T shirt that said "cowgirls do it better" and blue shorts. Blake was in his pj's. And my hair was sticking out in all directions. ( I know, and you thought I just rolled out of bed looking this great, didn't you??). Anyhow, the living room floor was covered in books and mega blocks. You really couldn't even see the floor. But who cares right, I have four hours! I sipped my tea and surveyed the mess, when all of the sudden "DING DONG". The dog started barking furiously. I freaked out. Threw on a bright purple sweatshirt, grabbed the baby (so cable guy wouldn't step on him) and ran to the door. I put on a nonchalant smile like "oh i know, i look so well put together, just the average american mom!" and answered the door. I can honestly tell you the cable man looked horrified. He just kind of looked at me.. and I said "oh I will put the dog out!!" . He nodded. still looking perplexed. I ran back to let him in, then he tracked mud in my house, so now i don't care if i looked like big bird, i was annoyed. Needless to say, he informed me that I would still get a few channels, and that was a blessing because I just want to watch the news. Now you might be thinking that he let me in on this little secret because of my good looks, I can assure you that no.. it was because of my charm.

Then.. i got an email from the command spouse group about a weekend camping trip. Hubby ALWAYS teases me that he will make me go camping and I always say I am not an 'outdoorsy' girl. So I email him back a very dry humor "when is spa weekend? I will sign up. " . I didn't know why he didn't respond.. i thought it was funny. Oh why didn't he respond? Because I sent it to the entire spouse club. NOT my husband. ahhhh open mouth insert foot. Thankfully they are all ladies and can probably appreciate the joke :) off to bed!!

I am back in the saddle!

Well because of the fact that my son is ridiculously cute, I am back in the saddle of blogging. I am hoping to get 4-5 posts up per week to keep all of our family and friends updated, as well as to keep my writing sharp as a tack. Or as dull as a cotton ball... depending on how you look at it. This weekend we had a really great time together, as usual but we spent a lot of time outdoors in the local WA beauty, which was a nice change from hiding from the rain inside. Above are some pictures of our trip to the beautiful tulip fields in Mount Vernon, WA. We went a few weeks ago, (those pictures are in the post below) and most things were not blooming. We also went through the whole

Steve:So where do we go to see the tulips?

Me: I don't know just keep driving til we see flowers.

Steve: Turn here or go straight?

Me: Um either way, I don't know..

Steve: ?????

So this time I was prepared, I went looking for those flowers with guns blazing. I had a color coded map, of which i had the most mature fields circled. I navigated us to Roozengarde's beautiful fields, where we were met with a $4.00 parking sign, then I navigated us back into LaConner to find an ATM, where Steve nearly ran over some avid bikers in uber nerdy spandex (thats a whole 'nother blog). While I am at it, let me just say, I have no respect for bikers who *think* they are cars. No, you giant outstretched arm is not a turn signal, its an arm, and if you don't put it down and get on the sidewalk, i am probably going to run it over , and you will be out one arm. And those outfits? Really? Do you really need to wear neon spandex to ride a bike. They are all like 'oh look at me i am a super rider, i ride with the flow of traffic, i'm just like a car riding down the street'. Except you don't have a MOTOR!! Well you get it, I am not a fan of 'sharing the road' with a bike. Roads are for cars. period. end of story.

(disclaimer, if any of you, my friends are closet nerdy bikers, I still love you, and i will try really hard not to run you over)

Anyhow, we walked all around the fields, I wore khakis and flip flops because really i thought they were lying on the website when it said 'fields are very wet and muddy, dress accordingly'. Oh well, I mean they couldn't possibly be too muddy for my cute get-up right? Wrong. It was like walking on the back of a big dinosaur, the mud was all crackly and springy, it was weird. Like Jurassic Park meets Skagit Valley.

Speaking of Skagit Valley, I am returning to the PRESTIGIOUS Skagit Valley College this week to finish my associates degree. Yes I am sure you are all very impressed. Skagit Valley College is on the list of like 100 best community colleges in the nation. Either way, I am excited to put all my knowledge into a degree, because if you don't already know, I am just bursting at the seams with knowledge. I can tell you the pediatric dosing charts for a 20lb baby taking a motrin/tylenol alternation. I can tell you the way to make a roux, I can tell you Maslows Hierarchy of needs, and I can tell you that this Mama needs to go to bed so that she can greet the cable guy bright and early to unhook the cable. Hahhaha Comcast, you won't be taking advantage of our wallet anymore. No siree, thanks to Hulu, Cbs.com, and the like- We don't need you! Enjoy the pictures!

Long time no see...

**Attention:Blake looks dazed and confused in the above picture because he can't believe what I actually look like with a little makeup and without a rats nest for hair** (take a picture buddy, doesn't happen often these days!)
Well it has been a long time since I have blogged. But to all my adoring fans, (all 2 of you) I apologize. I have been very busy, being a stay at home mom is wild. Playdates, and excercise and cooking, and cleaning, and lounging and eating bon-bons, and painting my toes. Oh wait, scratch that I haven't done the last three things in over a year. Well i wouldn't trade it for all the world. Tonight Blake was covered in green beans, carrots and tuna fish-and let me tell you, he smelled like it. It was atrocious. He had boogers coming out his nose, drool coming off his chin and he was the cutest thing I ever saw! Now you might be thinking I haven't seen many cute things. No. I have. Puppies, bunnies the whole 9 yards.

Speaking of cute things.. this whole twilight debate is getting pretty crazy. Now I only have eyes for my husband... (yea yea 'all my single ladies' keep yo' eyes to yo'self) But the Team Edward /Team Jacob thing is getting nuts. T shirts, bumper stickers, I am sure someone out there even has a tattoo. I personally will not get involved in the immature madness-because Jacob is clearly the better option. Bella better open her eyes. Oh right, I forgot, sleeping with one eye open in case your love is going to gobble you up is so romantic.

The real reason I am writing this is vanity. You see, my husband and I were driving to Mt.Vernon a few weeks ago, when he casually mentioned that he would like to write a book. I froze , I put on a fake smile and said "hahhahah". To which he replied "yeah,... i want to write a book". No more Miss Nice Girl. Doesn't he KNOW who he is married to? The next Jane Austen+Ellen Degeneres-Lesbian+Barbara Walters. Yes. Me! That is who he is married to. (For all you math gurus yes the above equation does = me when solved for X). I heard my voice raise a few decibels "UM NOOOO I am the writer in this relationship. I am a way better writer than you anyhow" He just laughed and that led me to continue "well if your such a great writer, write me love notes". SO now I am on a mission. I will write my book before he writes his. What will it be about? I don't know... something that will appeal to the masses, yet be funny too. Here are some titles I am kicking around:

Married A Crackerjack: Super sweet and Always nutty!

Picking Someone Else's Boogers 101

How to Let Your Personal Appearance go to Rot in 9 easy months

Lessons in Dada:How the become the bilingual mother you have always wanted to be

The Dumbing Down of America; A Scathing look at Drugs, Alcohol and Mommyhood

I can produce food.. what can you do?

My husband is a Sailor and yours is a big fat loser frat boy.

Ok... Now that I look at this, I am thinking maybe I should go into the bumper sticker business.

I would also like to write greeting cards. But again, I want to reach the masses. How about:

I'm Sorry (for not taking out the garbage for the bazillionth time)

With Deepest Sympathy (that the stretch marks on your stomach look like a road map)

Happy Birthday (even though you forgot mine, you jerk)

Congratulations (on your 4th child of the same gender, I would LOVE to come to the shower and buy you yet ANOTHER gift)

Well... Its 9:39 and this wild party mama is ready for bed. Steve was telling me that the new nightclub in town is having new water themed nights. Hot tub this weekend, and wet tee shirt contest next weekend. I told him that I should automatically win the wet t shirt contest because who else can make their own t shirt wet from the inside out?? Yep.. This GIRL! Now how many of those chicks down at element or lava do you think can do that?

I guess I'm kind of a superstar!

(to Blake anyhow ) :)

Signing off-thats all folks!