I am starting my own home based business

I am thinking that whoever started the catch phrase "home based business" really had a great idea. Someone sits in an airconditioned office overlooking the beach in Miami while a bunch of housewives across the midwest sell candles, cookwear and clothing to fund the lifestyles of some guru that needed to get away from corperate america. I have been stalked by home based business consultants, caught up in the glamour and convinced myself I NEEDED ten color coded tupperware vegetable bowls that collapse, freeze, and wash themselves. Now, there are many great consultants out there, and to them I am truly grateful, it is the "others " that make a bad name.
So based on some recent experiences I am going to create my own. Here is how it goes.
Lets say we are going to sell rocks.
Ok, now you know that you need to sell rocks. These are not pebbles, these are classy, beautiful home decor items. You could not find rocks like this on the beach. No. These rocks are imported from..hmmm.. lets say.. Lithuania. That sounds good.
So in order to sell these Lithuanian rocks, you need to buy a start up kit. That has all the essentials. There are five decorative rocks. A paperweight. (It has felt glued on the bottom--uh you SO can not find THIS on any beach)..not just any felt.. felt made from gentle fibers of organically fed alpacas. It also includes a ultra super duper rock polishing cloth, rock luster spray, and of course a sleek, sturdy carrying bag.
In order to get your starter kit, you only need to put $200 down. This is a steal, because it is a $500 value.
Amazing.
Wow, so now you need to have a party, but that is overdone, So lets call it something catchier. How about a retreat. A rock retreat, where you and your best gal pals can come and get Zen and Karma and unwind. After all, rocks have magic nature powers. (Aha, see , you are becoming intrigued!)
All you have to do is hold them, all shined up with their luster spray, and they will change your life. You can feel the tranquility pulsing through your veins.
If you have a party totaling sales of $1,000 or more, you earn 25% comission
A party totaling sales of $10,000, you make 50% commission. OF COURSE, the average party is $10,000.
The product sells itself. Really.
Any takers?


**Disclaimer, I know some great girls who run home based businesses. This is for the Jehovah Witness style sellers who drive me crazy. As a matter of fact I know a great candle consultant that gave me a tea light that just burned for FOUR HOURS!

****Disclaimer 2,
I have nothing against Jehovah's witnesses other than the fact that they are not going to heaven. I am however very nice to them, and do not endorse the wearing of the "Jehovah's Witness Protection" T shirt that my husband owns. I wish they would stop giving me abortion pamphlets though, I OBVIOUSLY didn't have one!